


Cool vs Cute

by JustCallMeAnon



Category: ITZY (Band), LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: F/F, somewhat canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-19
Updated: 2019-08-23
Packaged: 2020-09-07 22:30:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20317063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustCallMeAnon/pseuds/JustCallMeAnon
Summary: Ryujin is on her way to meet her old Mix Nine friends Heejin and Hyunjin. But they are not the only girls she meets that day.





	1. Chapter 1

The past couple weeks had been tough. With their debut coming up in less than two months, every day was exhausting. So Ryujin was really glad that she finally had a day off. Today, she was meeting Jeon Heejin and Kim Hyunjin, two members of the girl group Loona. She became friends with them from their time in Mix Nine. They had agreed to meet at a coffee shop close to Ryujins dorm and were already sitting at a table when she entered the little shop at the agreed time.

But to her surprise it wasn't only Heejin and Hyunjin that were sitting in a corner at the back of the shop, but also another girl with long red-brown hair in a ponytail. Ryujin approached them and was greeted once they noticed her.

"Hey Ryujin, you are here! It has been a long time since we last met", Heejin said. "This is Jiwoo by the way, another Loona member! I don't think you have met each other yet!"

"No we have not. Hey, nice to meet you, I'm Shin Ryujin", Ryujin said.

Jiwoo's face lit up into a warm smile. 'Damn,_ that is one cute smile she has.. wait, what am I thinking?' , _Ryujin thought to herself before the other girl answered.

_"_Hi, Kim Jiwoo! Nice to meet you, too!"

Jiwoo had the friendliest tone in her voice Ryujin ever heard and for some reason her heart started beating faster. 

"She asked to join since she was curious after hearing stories about you. I was sure you wouldn't mind, no?", Heejin said.

"Of course not! I'm always happy to meet new people, especially if they are friends of my friends!"

They caught up on their experiences since the last time they had met and time flew by. Then at some point Heejin and Hyunjin got up, looking like they were about to leave.

"I'm sorry, but me and Heejin have a photo shoot for our sub-unit. This took longer than we would have thought."

"Oh, no problem. We'll keep in touch! Have fun and enjoy!"

"Thank you! Bye!"

As they left and Ryujin herself was ready to get up, Jiwoo asked her

"Hey, I still have some more free time. Why don't we hang out a bit longer? If you don't mind of course!".

She felt her heartbeat accelerating again. "I- Eh.. Yea, sure!", she stuttered.

"You don't have to if you don't want!", Jiwoo quickly responded.

"No, I really want to! How about we take a park in the walk?"

_'A park in the walk? Why is it so hard to say a normal sentence to her! What is happening to me?'_

She felt her getting red looked away in embarrassment, but Jiwoo just laughed and said "Sure, let's go!".

Their walk was a lot less awkward than Ryujin had feared. She managed to get her composure back and function like a normal human being.

She learned a lot about the other girl, for example, that Jiwoo was one and a half year older than her and that she, just like Heejin and Hyunjin, had already released her first song, 'Heart Attack', over a year ago. That they she graduated from the same high school Ryujin is attending, and that she has two younger brothers.

It had already been past nine in the evening, when their way had finally led them to the ITZY dorm, where they exchanged phone numbers and finally said goodbye.

It didn't take long for the first messages to be sent that day.

**Jiwoo~**

_Hii again, it was really nice meeting you today! I hope we can see each other again some time, I really had fun :) :)_

**Ryujin**

_Hey :) I feel the same. I'll let you know when I have some free time again, these weeks are really busy for me~~_

**Jiwoo~**

_Sounds good! <3 We're also having a comeback soon but I'm sure we can make something work :)_

**Ryujin**

_Definitely! I'll head to bed now tho. Long day ahead tmrw _

**Jiwoo~**

_Alright :)  
Good night and good luck_

_also don't forget to eat well <3_

**Ryujin**

_Ah, I won't trust me :P_

**************************************************************

The days went on and Ryujin's texting relationship with Jiwoo had reached a new level for her. Never had she texted so much with a single person. Basically any free minute she had they would exchange messages, pictures, voice mails, or they would video chat.

They met more regularly now, basically whenever Ryujin had a free afternoon, or a free evening, or any free time really.

Which made her wonder, because Loona were also about to have a comeback, even though their dorms where relatively close to each other, where did Jiwoo find that time to constantly meet her and stay for as long as Ryujin had time?

But she didn't mind and also never really asked her. She really enjoyed the time with her new friend.

They would go out for dinner and eat fried chicken, BBQ and other things, have a coffee in the afternoon or just walk around in a park just talking about everything and nothing. Just what friends do, she thought.

Weeks passed, and at more and more she would find herself in her bed watching fan cams, variety show appearances, V Lives and other Loona/Jiwoo related stuff. Sometimes she would ask herself _'Am I weird?'_ , but quickly came to the conclusion that, again, it was totally normal and she was just being a good friend learning about the others personality. And as for the fan cams, who doesn't like looking at pretty girls doing cool dances, right? 

**************************************************************

It was the beginning of February. Ryujin came home quite late that night. She and Jiwoo had been to the movies together since it was the last time they would meet up before ITZY's debut and Loona's comeback, or so at least she thought. After entering her dorm, she was greeted by Yeji.

"Shin Ryujin is finally back. Pretty late this time, huh?" 

"Hey Yeji, you're still awake! Umm yeah, I'm sorry. After dinner we went to see a movie. I didn't think it would get this late."

"No worries. Just don't let your late night dates affect your energy the next day. It's only a week until our first performance now."

"I know that. And what do you mean 'dates'? I was just meeting with Jiwoo a last time before we both will be having busy weeks ahead of us!", Ryujin contradicted while getting a little red.

"It's okay, I don't judge. But don't play stupid. I can see whats going on between you two. Just be careful, okay?"

"I'm really not dating her! We're both girls! Can I not go to the movies with someone without dating that person?"

"You getting this defensive is more than enough proof that I'm right", Yeji said with a wink. "But think whatever, I'm heading to bed. Goodnight. Don't make me wake you up again because you slept through both of our alarms"

"Pfft. Goodnight..", Ryujin grunted before getting ready to take a shower and head to bed herself.

**************************************************************

Later that night, Ryujin was lying in her bed, kept up by what Yeji said earlier. It was already past midnight. Had she really just been on a date with another girl, and had she been doing it for weeks? Did she possibly like girls? Did she like _that _girl? Her head was spinning. Even if she did like girls, or that girl, there was no way she would ever date one right now, or anyone for that matter. It was too close to her debut, the thing she worked so hard for the past couple years. And not only her, also her group members. She would risk all of their careers, hopes and dreams. Rookie idols weren't allowed to date in her company. Also, she had heard of too many scandals where idols, even when they were allowed to date, got a lot of hate from the public for just being _rumoured_ to see someone. And these were heterosexual dating rumours. 

She despised the world 'scandal', though. It was love between two human beings. What is so wrong with that? Not that she ever cared for that herself. She knew what kind of life she would be living when deciding to become an idol. Also, she never really had any love interests in her past anyways. But now her feelings, and perhaps her sexual orientation, were thrown upside down.

To get onto different thoughts, she tried to think about her upcoming debut instead. It was only a week away, she should be 100% focused on that anyways. Her mind shifted towards the upcoming weeks and her thoughts started drifting away from love and dating. Instead now she was thinking_'What outfits will I be wearing on all my first live stages? What will my parents say about my performance? What will..' _ that moment her phone vibrated. She thought twice about whether she should check it or let it wait until the morning, but finally curiosity got the better of her and she grabbed her phone. 

**Jiwoo~**

_Hey, are u still up?_

_'God fucking damn it...' _ she thought. But although she just fought with her own mind to not think of her anymore that night she still replied for some reason.

**Ryujin<3**

_Hey, yea_

_can't sleep lol.. what's up?_

**Jiwoo~**

_Same... I was wondering if you wanna hang out again tomorrow? I know we said today was the last time.._

_But you mentioned it's the last free evening you will have before your debut and I wanna give you all the support i can :) <3_

**Ryujin<3**

_Do you ever have any practice yourself? Haha_ **  
**

**Jiwoo~**

_So is this a yes? <3_

**Ryujin<3**

_I guess ;) Meet me at the sushi place across the coffee shop we first met at 6?_

**Jiwoo~**

_I love sushi!! Will do :) <3_

_cu :*_

The attempts to not think of Jiwoo were hopeless for the rest of the night. _'Did I just get myself another date? Maybe Yeji was right and I'm just completely oblivious to all of this.. I'm wondering how Jiwoo thinks about this.. does she like girls? Does she like me? Or does she just want to be a really good friend? Maybe I should text Heejin or Hyunjin and try to get them to ask her.. No I can't. What if they suspect anything and tell her..' _These thoughts kept circling in her head until after some more hours she eventually fell asleep.

**************************************************************

Getting up in the morning was horror. But for some reason she didn't feel too tired during the practice sessions. Maybe it was the nervosity about the upcoming 'date' with Jiwoo, maybe it was the realisation of her debut being this close kicking in. 

The evening and with that the end of their practice for that day came and Ryujin rushed to get into the shower and get herself ready for her dinner.

When she finally reached the sushi place, it was already 20 minutes past six. Jiwoo already sat on a table for two, staring into the distance. Her thoughtful expression was one of the most beautiful things Ryujin had seen. Jiwoo's face instantly lit up when she spotted Ryujin and she waved her over.

"Hey, I'm sorry for being late. Practice took longer than i expected!"

"Don't worry, I don't mind waiting for you. I'm sure you gave your best! I've already gotten you a menu."

"You're too kind! Thank you, today was really exhausting so I'm quite hungry!"

"Me too! Let's have a look what we can get!"

They ordered their food and talked about what to expect for the next weeks. How they were excited to see each other on stage and half-joked about how both of them alternately would get their first wins. After they had finished their meals and spent some more time in the cosy little restaurant, Jiwoo offered to accompany her to her dorm, which Ryujin thankfully accepted.

In a minute of silence about halfway on their way home Ryujin thought about Yeji's words again, but was too afraid to bring it up.

Did it feel like a date? Honestly, she wouldn't know. She had never been on an actual date with someone.

While glancing over to the older girl, she noticed that she seemed nervous. She was playing around with her fingers and kept biting her lips. 

Without even realising, they they found themselves taking a detour through the same park they first walked through back when they first had met when suddenly Jiwoo took her hand and pulled her behind a big tree. After taking some deep breaths and before Ryujin could say something she started:

"Ryujin, I.. I have a confession to make. All the time we spent together on those dates," _'So those were dates for her after all, huh' ,"_ I really enjoyed that. And I really like you. Ever since the first time I saw you in that coffee shop I couldn't get you out of my mind. I wanna keep this up, I know we will both have a very busy schedule the upcoming weeks which is why I'm telling you this now.."

She took another deep breath before finally saying:

"Shin Ryujin, I have fallen in love with you!"

Ryujin felt herself getting the most red she had ever gotten and the heat was almost killing her. "Jiwoo.. I-uh..", she stuttered, not knowing what to say after her confession. Her head was spinning and as much as she had liked to respond, every attempt to start a sentence got stuck in her throat and before she even knew, Jiwoo took her by her forearms, and slowly leaned in while closing her eyes..

Before their lips could meet, Ryujin, who was completely dumbfounded, took a step back, forcing Jiwoo to awkwardly stumble forward and almost fall to the ground, barely able to catch herself with her hands. Still not able to form a clear sentence she witnessed the other girl get up and saw how now tears had formed in her eyes and had started to run down her cheeks. That awfully cute smile that she always had on her face, no matter the circumstances, was gone now.

Jiwoo looked her in the eyes one last time and just quickly mumbled "I don't know .. I- I'm sorry!" before turning around and running away. At first Ryujin wanted to chase after her, but by the time she fully realised what happened, she was already gone.

_'Oh my god, what did you just do.. You just completely humiliated the pe__rson who opened herself up to you and confessed her true feelings and who you probably like yourself but are too stupid to admit it to yourself' , _she thought, before sinking to the cold ground and starting to sob herself. That's not something she needed days before her debut.

After some minutes she finally got up from the cold grass and started walking home. Alone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryujin is suffering from the aftermath of her actions (or lack thereof), keeping her up every night.

The last days had been a mess for Ryujin. Their music video had dropped and they recorded their first live performance and even though it was a major success she could not be fully happy. Ever since that evening there had been silence between Jiwoo and her. Not a single message. She knew she had to apologise and tell her how she felt, but she just could not make the first move. There was no way Jiwoo wanted to hear from her anyways, she thought. That is also why she was grateful for how stressful the days were, as it left her less time to think about the girl and the incident. But every night, as soon as she laid in bed, the guilt hit her again and kept her up for a few more hours. She didn't tell anyone about the whole situation yet, not even Yeji, who would probably listen to her and give her advice, as that's what she always did when some of her members felt down or had a problem. Ryujin thought about slipping a question about Jiwoo in between a message to Heejin or Hyunjin, but whenever she had something typed out, she decided to delete it. After another tiring day including another live performance she decided that it was no longer endurable to suffer alone in her thoughts every night. She had to tell someone, and the only person she trusted with this was her leader and roommate.

So after they both had entered their room and laid down in their beds, Ryujin started.

"Yeji.. can we talk?"

"Of course, what's up?"

"I'm not sure how to start this.. You know the girl I was hanging out with over the last weeks"

"Oh, you mean your crush? What's up with her?"

"I have honestly fucked up and probably won't be able to ever look her in the eyes again.."

"Not even denying it anymore, huh? I knew it! What did you do to her?"

"I'm not joking Yeji, please! She confessed her feelings to me and I just stood there without saying a thing. And I hate myself for it. Because.. because I really like her and now we haven't spoken for over week and it's killing me and .." she started sobbing.

Yeji's started to realise the level of seriousness of this situation and climbed down from her bed to take a seat on Ryujin's mattress, where she found the girl sitting with her back to the wall, her legs pulled in and tears in her eyes.

"Ryujin I'm so sorry. Is this you.. coming out to me right now? You know I was just joking about all of this, right? I didn't know you were actually.. Do you have feelings for her?"

Ryujin nodded silently.

"Just to be 100 percent sure here.. Romantic feelings?"

Ryujin just looked at her with a painfully desperate expression before quietly saying "Yes"

Yeji swallowed. This is not what she expected, but she was ready to be there for her friend.

"Okay okay, I think I understand. Tell me what happened, all of it! I'm all ears."

And so she did. Starting from when they first met, to her questioning her feelings after Yeji 'jokingly' called her out, to the day finally when Jiwoo confessed. And Yeji listened.

"I think you should definitely talk to her. Otherwise you'll never know what could have happened."

"But how do I approach her? I can't just go up and be like 'Hey, you wanna try and kiss me again'?"

"Of course not like that you dummy! Be honest. Tell her you didn't know what to do, that you where overwhelmed by the situation. I'm sure she will understand.

"I surely hope so.."

They spent the rest of the night in the same bed and this time, Ryujin finally got some decent sleep.

**************************************************************

It was about to be a very special day to Ryujin. Today was be the first show where they would be eligible for a win. It's only been just over a week since their debut and they had to compete against Hwasa, who just had her very successful solo debut, but she still had hope because they had been getting a lot of attention. But she was abruptly pulled out of her thoughts about being announced as the winner when Heejin started talking to her. It was not until she looked at her in her stage outfit that it dawned on her. It was the same one she saw in Loona's new music video. Which meant that it was Loona's comeback stage today. Which again meant, that Jiwoo was here too. Which then again meant, that they would be on the stage together by the end of the show.

_'Fuck' _

"Ahh Ryujinnn! Can't believe we will finally be performing as idols on the same stage! You look amazing!"

"Heejin! You look beautiful, too! And yea, we've really come a long way. I'm really excited!"

"You ready for your first win?"

"Haha, let's not get ahead of ourselves just yet! I don't think we really have a shot just yet"

As they kept chatting for a bit, her thoughts drifted back to something else..

_'Oh god. How could I forget that they are having their comeback stage today.. Jiwoo mentioned that multiple times! Now we will definitely see each other and it's gonna be awful'_

She tried not to think about it too much, though, since it was inevitable that at least at the very end they would all end up on the stage together.

**************************************************************

Much to her relief, they did not directly see each other backstage. 

After all the performances were done however, they were all on stage together. ITZY, Loona, Hwasa, Dreamcatcher, including some of their members who Ryujin also knew from Mix Nine, and many more.

The tension was at its maximum between the ITZY girls as the members of Monsta X, who acted as the MC's, were about to announce the winner of today's show. 

The points were added together which felt like an eternity. But then it was official. They had gotten their first win, only 10 days after their debut song was released. The emotions were overwhelming and tears started flowing. 

All of her friends on stage started congratulating and hugging her. She forgot all the drama that was worrying her the whole time and just enjoyed the moment, even forgetting she was being on the same stage as _her_. She had made it. It wasn't all for nothing. All the effort she put in over the last years paid off. They performed their encore stage and left with smiling faces.

Arriving backstage, Yeji gathered them and gave a little speech about how proud she was of all of them and how she was happy with all their hard work. Ryujin was really glad they had her as a leader. She really kept the group together in good and bad times and seemed to understand what each member needed to hear. 

This was about to be proven right again since as they were heading back towards their dressing room, Ryujin saw _her_. Jiwoo was talking with Hyunjin and another Loona member, Jinsoul.

She didn't know if it was the emotional high from the win, or if it was something else, but she suddenly felt a lot of confidence building up in her. They would be performing at the same shows for the next weeks and she would much rather talk to her in person than having an awkward texting conversation. She looked at Yeji, who had also noticed the other girl group members. "I think I need to do something real quick, would you guys excuse me?" She seemed to understand and gave her an approving nod before leading the other 3 girls away, who seemed a little confused but didn't ask any questions.

_'So this is it, the moment of truth has come.. Will she forgive me?'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure if I like how it turned out, but anyways, let know what ya think


End file.
